The people involved with the club come from a broad range of backgrounds and lend a very international feeling to the group.
Conall CULTURAL ADVISOR Likes: A nice bit of ham, buttered biscuits, getting’ clattered in muck, machinery, starting conversations with 'guess who's dead?', change, TK Red Lemonade, Aetin' a big feed of spuds, a nice glass of milk with dinner Proudest Moment: Winning a leg of lamb for the mammy in the parish raffle POSITION: WING (or lying down for a mid match nap) Marcus
FOREIGN RELATIONS OFFICER
Marcus was found as a feral child living in the pouch of a slightly confused kangaroo in Queensland in 1981. Since then he has moved on to many accomplishments, most notably he was the first Australian to publicly renounce cheese, and the last Australian to realise Australia was an island POSITION: CENTRE (or ever so slighlty to the left) Jordi JUNIOR UNDERSECRETARY TO THE VICE COACH After his second unsuccessful coup attempt in his native land Jordi followed in the footsteps of many other failed military leaders and embarked on a professional music career. In recent years he has mastered several instruments, most notably the Spoons (acoustic and electric). But unfortunately, much to the disappointment of his family, he has not yet appeared on Top of the Pops POSITION: CENTRE (but possibly on the fence)
Rob
CAO (CHIEF of AUSTRALIAN OPERATIONS) The man we know as Rob today is actually the seventh reincarnation of an Australian spirit. In his previous two lives he was a turtle (called Francis the Turtle) and Gonzo from the popular show The Muppets. Skilled in the art of Touch from an early age (in fact he scored his first touchdown only 3 months after his own conception!) he is now one of the leading personalities in the sport’s development. In his free time he enjoys hang gliding and eating jam sandwiches. POSITION: COACH (or anywhere really, so long as he is allowed wear a hat) Conny
BRAINS OF THE OPERATION Two time world heavyweight champion and author of several historical bestseller biographies, Conny brings both athletic achievement and intellectual brawn to the pitch. Always in the thick of the action Conny strives to give 100% to the game. Injury can’t even stop this dynamo. Her most noteworthy achievement to date was playing on, even though the opposition had knocked her unconscious. Now that’s dedication! POSITION: CENTRE (demolishing the defense) Ryland
POET Our very own Wordsworth hails from the wilds of the Welsh countryside (proper towns still being a “new fangled invention” to many Welshmen). He can often be seen during half time breaks pondering over an ode or a sonnet under the birch trees surrounding the pitch. In his free time Ry likes to hunt for buried treasure and watch re-runs of Friends (in Spanish). POSITION: WING Kai
LINK... EXTRODINAIRE Little is known about the background of this suspicious Australian. The allure of international markets and offshore bank accounts brought him Europe with the hope of making his fortune. Since his arrival in 2010 he has thus far accumulated a net profit of 10EUR and a healthy supply of coupons for McDonalds. One to watch in the future, but Donald Trump is safe ... for now. POSITION: LINK (or backwards cowboy) Russ
CHIEF STYLIST A former child model, Russ has since blossomed into an illustrious acting career. His lifelong ambition has been to reshoot Crocodile Dundee with himself as Mick Dundee. Russ spends most of time between Berlin and Paris, where he likes to catch up on news in the international fashion scene. POSITION: LINK (or close to the cameras) Chris HEAD CHEF “Twinkle Toes” Chris has astounded many with his antics both on and off the pitch. Not unknown to score within the first 10 seconds of play, he is also fairly nifty in the kitchen. Graduating top of his class in Culinary Arts at New Zealand University, he has designed many signature dishes including Chicken Soufflé a la Baked Beans and Fruit Salad a la Bacon. POSITION: LINK (or thereabouts) Where We Practice
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